Thursday

Already loaded 14 flats of watermelons for the farmer we grow them for; dumped some mostly dead stuff, cleaned up and pruned some stuff and moved it…am trying to get the shrubs and trees neat and together so it’s easier to tend them.

Will water later on.

Stacie finally got a bit of settlement from her wreck back last August. She bought a motorcycle of all things. I have nothing to say regarding that choice.

I see CJ is up there this morning. Wonder what is up with that, but will wait to worry. I told Stacie the Jan/Lisa story and ended with–the moral of this telling is this; you pay your bills, you be honest and you can live in the house and do your thing. Lie to me, use me and I’ll be worse than Bob. 🙂

Coke break over, back to work.

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The Jones

Enjoyed Judy and Robert’s visit. They left while we were at church, but I had to go back after church and do the checks as I didn’t do them while company was here.
Got news today on Dylan..he showed up at church with Casey…Terry had gone to their papa’s and picked them up for Black Light practice. Seems BJ and his new woman were arrested last week for selling scrap iron they claim to have had permission to sell, but the owner filed charges against them for stealing it. The girl is out, but since BJ is on probation he is still in jail. According to Casey, the girl has proof on her phone that they had permission to sell it.
Also, according to Casey CJ is still CJ, accusing Casey of stealing her medication and selling it to kids at school.
Casey wants to move out of papa’s and live with me or Stacie because papa won’t take her to church. I say no way because the first time I discipline her or not let her have her way she will be gone again or she will try cussing me out and I will beat the crap out of her. Stacie says no way, no how.


I think all this accusing of pill stealing adds to the rumors of drug use among young people these days. Why can’t parents keep their mouth shuts and mind their own business.

Saw a prospective preacher last week. Fairly hopeful that this one might be the one. Some at church are discouraged because we don’t have one and we don’t have one because no one will accept the position. The discouraged ones are aggravated with the leadership of the church, which I guess is the chairman of the deacons. Who knows. I thought the leadership was all who have positions which would include some who are discouraged. Maybe I am wrong.

thoughts..dangerous eh?

Hmm, Stacie was served with papers yesterday while she was gone. I got them. Worried the ____out of me. Back last April she rear ended a dude sitting in the middle of the road. His truck had died and he was just sitting there, no flashers, no trying to move it. She saw the truck, slowed down, thought he was moving but still bumped into his back bumper with her car. Wasn’t enough to deploy the air bag, did some damage to her front fender, but he claimed the hit in the read caused his truck to not crank.
Highway patrol officer came, Stacie got a citation because she couldn’t find proof of insurance, which she had..she is just disorganized. No other citations listed. Stacie’s insurance paid the man whatever…she couldn’t remember the sum.
Now he plans to sue her.
Funny. She has nothing. No house in her name. No vehicle in her name. No checking account. No savings account. NOTHING. NADA. Just herself and her kids, a box full of bills and a few thrown away pieces of furniture. What will he do? What will his lawyer do? Can blood be squeezed from a turnip?
We think he’s suing because we have the nursery business and he thinks we have plenty of money. Another LOL for sure.

She isn’t as worried as I am about it. I hate worry. I hate chaos. I hate not knowing.

Terry woke up with upset stomach today and has run all day.

Ana is cleaning my house and mama is mad about that.

Shandi is sitting over there looking like a lost kid.

I want to go to McComb tonight, take Shandi to eat for her birthday which is Monday and maybe buy me a tablet.
I may, I may not.

I am still just down about my penguin friend’s diagnosis of cancer and the fear her husband has it also. So not fair.

Disturbing events

One would think that life would run smoothly from time to time. Oh, yes, it will, maybe for a nano second.

Family company over the weekend was very enjoyable for the most part. There were, as always, a few glitches. One has to put up with R’s opinionated tales and what he would or wouldn’t do. J is prone to being ridiculously petty in playing games, even toward a child. B brings that thing she’s hooked up with and he thinks he knows everything…but still, the visit was good when it was good.

S even joined in and was pleasant, a miracle in itself.

PSC met on Tuesday night and discussed the finding from the resumes we had went over the week before. I had heard back on the positive from one and we called to set up a time to meet with him. God answering machine/voice mail. I came home and emailed; heard back by morning, was told after discussing with his wife he would let me know by last night…no word yet.

Dear friend in online group was diagnosed with breast cancer yesterday. Hubby is under going test for bone cancer. Hurts my heart. Worries me. She’s such a worker, professional, never slows down…this will throw her a curve ball. I’ve not doubt she will survive but my heart hurts for her.

Yesterday, daughter and I went to McComb and bought Ana a computer and herself one. She will give hers to Shandi. Last night at church recieved a bunch of text from CR concerning Ana. She claims Ana smokes weed with Casey, Casey and CJ provide it for her, gets Vyvanse from CS at school so there fore she is no longer going to be friends with her. Also claimed Ana was still cutting. Came home, got Stacie and papa and had confrontation with Ana. Examined her for cutting…no. She did tell us that CR wanted to cut last time they were at her house but she (Ana) stopped her. Ana also said that Brianna S and her mom had called her trashy…this from a woman who lives with her bf, has family that uses and takes from family. People need to keep their mouth shut about other people.

Got a text from SS that one of our Search members told a church members who we were planning to meet and interview…our prospect knows these members and our chairperson had requested the members not be told. Even adults can’t be trusted.

ughhh the cost of doing business

Seriously though. I’m into the 8th year of using First American Payment Systems Credit Card Processors. I had a 3 year contract. Deep within the bowels of the 10 page agreement was the statement that after 3 years there is a one year auto renewal clause and contractual requirement to provide written notification of termination at least 30 days but no more than 90 days prior to the end of applicable term. So, anniversary date is 8/23/12 of this years contract. I must write them a letter and they must receive it between May 26 and July 26 of this year in order to close my account. I pay them 40 a month and can’t even use the processing machine because I no longer have a land line and it won’t work via internet connection.

I called this morning to see if I could pay out the contract. Yes I can….595.00 will get me out of the contract. I can pay them 40 a month and only pay 200.

Me: Do you think I just fell off the turnip truck that I would give you 600 when another 5 months, 200 and the cost of a stamp will end my agreement?

She: Well you could see if anyone else wants to take over your contract.

ME: Did you not understand me? It won’t work on the internet connection and I am still in business, just part time.

She: but don’t you know some other business who might need a processor?

Me: Even if I did I wouldn’t recommend ya’ll to them. I do not trust ya’ll.

She: Then you will just have to maintain the checking account associated with your account until August and be sure to send in your closure letter. Or I can give you some other person who will walk you through giving us the information for any new account you might want to run this through..I had mentioned wanted to change banks as the bank my business account is in is a pain in the butt.

Me: No thank you. I do not want you having any NEW bank information I have. I do not trust ya’ll.

She: Then keep the checking account so we can continue to withdraw the monthly fee.

Me: Or I can move my money and you can dig for the rest of the money you want. LOL

Ugghh

And did ya’ll know that if I have a checking account that is a personal account…Klara or Terry Reid on the account, I cannot deposit or cash a check with Reid’s Greenhouse on it? I didn’t. Banks are getting strict aren’t they?

So, now I got to figure out how to manage the business side of the money without having to pay so much extra just because it is business.

What got me started was my garbage bill came yesterday. I always pay it yearly. Since starting this business the crabby old woman in the collection office charged me business rates even though they do NOT pick up garbage here, only at my house and it is only household garbage. Today I called and asked the NEW collection clerk about it and she gladly put it back to personal collection which saves me 100 a year.

So now I want to get my checking account down to indicate it is a part/time/hobby type business not a full blown business. The lady at Trustmark that I spoke with said I could have a personal account/Prime of Life, 500 minimum balance/no service charge and have it listed as special account and as long as the checks didn’t say Greenhouse on them they could deposit them..they could say Reid’s or my name or Terry’s name or cash, but just not Reid’s Greenhouse. I told her I would figure out what to do and how to do it. Right now Pike National has a hold on our income returns because Terry’s not listed as owner on that account and his name is on the tax returns and we both had to sign a paper for the hold to be lifted.

Monday, 4.2.12

I jumped up this morning and discovered the side by side wasn’t working properly. We knew it wasn’t making ice but thought it was just a slow down or glitch and would correct itself. It happens sometimes when a chunk of ice gets stuck. This morning what little ice had made was thawing and some of my food in the freezer section. then I remembered the refrigerator stuff hadn’t felt as cold as it should have lately so called my refrig man. He came and it’s a fan, so that will be in tomorrow and that problem solved.

Funny that my refrig man is a good friend and we bull shit with each other all the time. When I was in bed sick with the crud he called after 6 and wanted to buy some tomato plants and I let him and his buddy come buy them. Ana took care of the money end. He called and apologized for bothering me and I told him the only apology I wanted was when i called with a broken refrig he had to come regardless of time or day or night. So when I called this morning I got the answering machine and said…I didn’t think I would have to call in my favor quite so quickly but…LOL

Then I had to water the plantation and be ready to leave at 12 for a 1:00 appointment, I needed to pick up Ana on the way as she had a 3 appointment with her counselor, Stacie and Terry were going to visit with Shandi this evening……..so…I made my appointment, we stopped by the banks to discover my income and state tax checks are on hold with my business account bank because Terry’s name, while on the list to sign checks isn’t on the account itself and therefore without both of us signing off they won’t deposit our refund check because it has both our names on it. They won’t add Terry’s name to the account unless we both are in the bank at the same time and up until lately that hasn’t been easy to accomplish as we are open past the banks’ closing hours. I think I will just move my money once these checks clear which they will tomorrow as Terry will run to town and sign off below my name.

then we went for food, meantime the evening thunderstorms began and we’re in and out of that all evening. We make it to counseling and I talk with the secretary about all the crap going on because I know she will pass the world on to Ana’s counselor, then Ana and her counselor come out and with Ana’s permission we talk and I share my concerns about Stacie and how she treats the girls.

Pam, she tells me about this medication her alzheimer mother and her daughter who is within that autism range diagnosis takes called nudesta or nudexta and she said it was truly a miracle the way it worked on those two people. She described them as Stacie act alikes and says her mother has always been a hateful old woman until she began this med and now she is truly a sweet little old lady. I laughed and said maybe I needed some of it but definitely we needed to try it on Stacie. She asked about Stacie’s counseling and I told her…all in all we talked about 30 minutes and she plans to do more working with Stacie and Ana on communication skills and she wants to work with Ana on proper assertiveness. I shared that while Ana is very good at speaking up for herself she needs some grooming in speaking up properly so as not to antagonize the other person. In all, it was a good visit. The counselor said she only heard good from Ana about me and was so glad i was there in there life as a buffer..blah, blah, blah…all that nice stuff they say.

Came home to no electric but now it’s on and I must go dig in the closet for my box of checks as I need a new register and I think maybe there is one in the box unless I used the last book and forgot to reorder checks. ach!!!!!!

penguins-circle Shandi’s eating and other things

You asked about Shandi and what was going on when she was put on the meds…according to what Stacie told me the MH doctor determined she was depressed because she was missing her daddy. Also Stacie told them that at times Shandi wasn’t acting normally…coming in from school, doing homework, talking, interacting, playing outside…instead sometimes she wanted to stay in the house playing video games. *excuse me, Stacie, you hole up in your room on your computer with the tv on and the windows darkened out* Supposedly Shandi had the sad look in her eyes.

I comment that I haven’t noticed any changes for the better with Shandi and instead I’ve noticed increased weight gain and more sadness surrounding Shandi. The Abilify was given to her supposedly because she is Oppositional Defiant and I contend we have managed to handle that w/o meds other than her Vyvanse for years. She seldom acts out and only then under extreme duress so why agree to drugs? Drugs won’t fix her and could cause more problems.

Shandi will be 12 the 16 of April. she has turned from a slender, smiling, beautiful little girl into a sullen, chubby little girl who always seems sad or angry about something. Maybe some of it is hormonal as she has started her period…but still.

Ana talked her mom into letting her go to a movie with her friend and his mother tonight so it was Stacie, Terry and I who went out to eat. We had a pleasant conversation concerning Ana, Stacie’s behavior and even Shandi. I don’t believe the problem is solved. I am not that naive. I am choosing my times and my words and dishing it out a little at a time. I am trying to explore all avenues or will beginning next week when I can actually talk with some people I know I need to speak with concerning custody issues. I am feeling my way concerning Shandi. Stacie says she will give me the passcode to be able to speak with Shandi tomorrow so I am taking a wait and see attitude there. With Shandi there is a glitch as she is a mama’s girl. Ana has always been a momo’s girl and ironically that is how it was in MY life. I was my grandma’s child, my sister was my mother’s child. Funny, huh?
l,
k

On Sat, Mar 31, 2012 at 11:13 AM, <woodleyp1> wrote:

Hi Klara. The burden of life there on the hill is an awfully heavy one for an elf such as yourself to carry.

I have a lot of thoughts about all this but rather than add to your burden, I think I’ll just send huge hugs and love your way and let you know I am filled with compassion for you and all your loved ones who are struggling with all the human issues on such a grand scale.

I am deeply concerned about a child as young as Shandi being on three such powerful psychotropic medications. And, to tell you the truth, I had to get up and walk away from the computer and pace and mumble-curse when I read that the MH doctor said 40 pounds of weight gain in a few months is due to puberty. For god’s sake, we all went through puberty! Did we gain 40 pounds in 4 months? No, we did not. How many people do we know who did? Who is that doctor kidding? I’ll tell you who. Himself. Or herself. Fucking idiot.

I am very glad Shandi is going into a MH facility for evaluation. I hope they will remove her from those meds and observe her. What was Shandi doing to get on those meds in the first place? Tell me again how old she is–11? 12?

Poor Ana. I am so glad you are there to offer some protection. Is there a social worker involved with Stacie or Ana or Shandi? If so, maybe you could talk to her about the possibility of getting custody of Ana. If not, you need to speak to an attorney or a family services liason provided by the courts–maybe in Hattiesburg? If you have a Hattiesburg phone book, look up Legal Aid and/or Legal Services. If Stacie has given them permission to talk to you, you can also ask the professionals who are treating Shandi at the hospital what legal steps you might take to help this family.

My heart is with you, Klara. I want things in your world to get better so badly!! You deserve serenity as much as anybody I have ever known! Love you, Pam

In a message dated 3/30/2012 8:55:54 P.M. Central Daylight Time, here.is.elf writes:

Lordy what a day, what a week, what a life.
We all know that for years, in fact all their life, Stacie has favored Shandi. Even in the worse of her times, Shandi was the one she spoke gently to, the one she hugged while biting Ana’s head off and pushing her away. She denies it every time I mention it. I saw it. Time and time again. I do not exaggerate.
We all know Ana has lived in the shed for a number of months now; since before Christmas? or right after. She does well. From time to time I remind her to clean it up, but over all she does well. She stays over here with me a lot, watching tv and on the computer as she doesn’t have tv in her sheddage other than the ability to watch movies and internet connection isn’t the best out there.

So, CJ and her crew moved out and now Stacie is insisting that Ana move back up there. The kid doesn’t want to deliberately move into a house where she is used as a maid, yelled at and otherwise made to feel less than human.

Since Christmas or a bit before Shandi has put on about 40 pounds. I think in October she weighed around 97 and yesterday she weighed 137 or 139, I forget. She is on anti-depressants (Zoloft) she takes Vyvanse and Abilify…all medications prescribed by the mental health doctor. She goes to counseling as does Ana. Shandi will get up in the middle of the night according to Stacie and eat a whole pack of cookies, a can of tuna or whatever else she can find to eat. She wants to eat huge amounts when she does eat. On Sunday morning when we have pancakes, she wants 4-6; waffles she can easily eat 2 and they are not small waffles. I have been concerned about her and thought a lot of it might be attributed to the over load (in my opinion) of medication. Stacie says it’s because she misses her daddy as she is a daddy’s girl too, not having reached the point of disliking him as Ana has.

So last week Stacie talked with the MH doctor about Shandi’s weight and she said oh, that was normal gain due to hormonal changes as she enter puberty. Maybe so, maybe not. Yesterday the girls see their MH counselor and she is very concerned and calls the office in Columbia to have Shandi evaluated for admittance into Pine Grove Mental Health Facility to figure out why she eats through out the night and whatever else is going on with her. That appointment was today. When Stacie picks Shandi up, she picks Ana up too.

They return from the appointment around 3 to pick up Shandi’s clothes and take her to Hattiesburg for admittance as she told the people who evaluated her that she had thoughts of harming herself. I have a customer who ends up buying over 300.00 worth when stacie comes in, thankfully Terry had made it in from work…as I hear Stacie scream at Ana to bring her her (Ana’s) phone. I leave Terry with the customer and walk to the house to find Shandi standing out on the sidewalk. As I walk up she turns to me and says, "They are in there arguing, momo, and I have to go in the hospital." I walk in and am met with an extremely angry Stacie. She yells at me that Ana has to get a better attitude. I reply that mama does too and if mama pattern a better attitude daughter might follow suit. Stacie yells that Ana can either move up to her house or she will send her to her daddys. I tell Stacie that is most cruel thing she could ever say to the child. She yells back that Ana is cruel to her, turns and throws Ana at me and jumps in the truck and leaves with Shandi.

Turns out Ana told her mom she would move up to the house and she would do it today, BUT, she wouldn’t clean up behind her mom or Shandi. She would clean her own room, wash her own dishes and any messes she cleaned up would be messes she made. That incensed Stacie as having a maid is one of the reasons she wants Ana up there and being told what she will and won’t do does not sit well with mama. She told Ana no, the room wasn’t clean. Ana says I will clean it. Stacie says no, I don’t want you messing in my house. I give up on you. You hate me so I just give up and that’s about the time I walk up on the mess.

When Stacie leaves I tell Ana to change clothes and come to the nursery as I will NOT let Stacie come dragging her off or yelling at her again. Stacie leaves heading to Pine Grove with Shandi with no incidents involving Ana. Ana helps us a bit at the nursery, then goes home to clean the sheddage.

While at church, around 6 or so, Stacie text me and said Shandi was admitted, was doing fine but she (Stacie) wasn’t. I empathized with her as I know it’s hard to walk away and leave your child somewhere like that. I come home and about an hour later Stacie leaves me a voice mail letting me know she is going to Jamie’s. She apologizes, says to tell her daughter she is sorry. She doesn’t know what comes over her, she is taking her meds but still was a bitch and she is sorry.

I realize that Stacie has been diagnosed bi-polar/manic depressive. I think some times she uses this as an excuse to show her ass. I don’t think she actively works on getting better. I think she wants to be classified disabled so she can draw a disability check like some other people she knows. I admit that in many ways she is disabled. I wouldn’t want to work with her. I am embarrassed by her a lot of times. Like at church last night, when she wouldn’t let Shandi have another piece of pizza. The child had only had 2 slices and I figure if Stacie can buy bags of cookies and have them as temptations why not let the child have a 3rd piece of pizza. Geez. She flounces around and talks loud and so many other things. I’m exhausted by her.

Terry and I discussed filing for custody of Ana. Ana mentioned she had thought about asking us to file for custody of her. I know we probably could but it would sure drive a wedge between Stacie and us. However if Stacie continues to verbally abuse Ana I will be forced to do something. I have to wonder if maybe Stacie isn’t doing the same to Shandi and Shandi just doesn’t tell me and that is why she is binge eating. Maybe it isn’t all missing her dad but only part missing him and part putting up with her bitchy mom.

Does anyone know where to start to find out the process for filing for custody? I’m brain dead tonight, working at the nursery, working at the church and playing devil’s advocate and peace maker.

So, any prayers, any positive thoughts, any suggestions would be accepted.

l,
k