Heart Murmers

I left a group this week. Just went to the home page, clicked the leave group button and poof I was gone from a group I had poured a lot of my time and soul into for 4 years.
The only two people who really give a rat’s ass that I am gone have contacted me and for them, I am grateful.
The others…well, I suppose I know what they really think about me.

I thought long and hard about this decision. I’d been angry a number of times, thought about leaving, but like with marriage, I let it blow over. Time always takes care of the little nit picky things that bug us…but it became a constant battle to overlook the sarcastic jabs, the hurtful remarks, the inconsideration, the idea that some knew more about what would offend than I, myself, did. Still, the delete is so handy when one is involved in a cyber relationship. It’s also very, very easy to sit at our computers and pour out our heartfelt concern, our well wishes, our platitudes…and all the time we could be flipping that person the bird or snickering over their predicament.

Much more is involved when the body must go into motion to carry out what the mouth/fingers are saying.

So why does this eat at me?

Even though I feel strongly that leaving is what was right for me to do…why do I feel off center? Grieving for one thing. A person doesn’t pour themselves into anything and not feel something when they walk away from it; even when the walking is the best thing at the time.

Hurt plays a factor also. The written words on the screen, from day to day, led me to believe those women liked me; cared about what happened to me….but as I looked back, I see their love, their caring, their words were simply words typed out at the moment to present themselves as compassionate people. True, at the moment I cared, but in the long run not so much because I am so much different than them. I work. I farm. I garden. I am poor. I attend church. I believe. I have faith. I only have a high school education academically.

While others miss a few days of posting and they fall all over themselves to find out why, I miss a whole week and not a word is said.
While some go through health issues and daily questions are asked, they patiently wait for updates, I laid in bed for a month with a very few check ins and my name was never mentioned. I was not missed by the majority.

That speaks volumes.

So…as I look at my world…fake friends online, crazy daughter who is getting herself into only God knows what, alcoholic son who seldom contacts us…today is the day to let it all go. To thank God for those friends who are real and true that I have…the few online and the few in real life…today is the day!

Yesterday was the day too when I told Stacie that someone needed to take her to the back forty with a long switch and not bring her back until the switch was a toothpick. Furthermore, since I raised her sorry ass, maybe I need that same beating and while we’re at it…maybe they need to run with the girls so I don’t ruin them like I did Stacie.

Life!!!!!!

Arrows and nests

Father’s Day weekend, while on the coast, we bought a Ninja processor/blender. It was probably Tuesday or Wednesday of the following week before I got it out of the box. I got the book, checked to make sure all the parts were there, struggled forever to pull the lids off the two canisters with no luck. Finally I came to the web, googled it, discovered that they are often hard to dislodge upon first unpacking; so I went back and tugged with all my might and yep, the lids came off. I washed them, figured out what went with what, put it away and went on about my day.

When I was in WM Saturday, I bought a bunch of stuff to make smoothies and fruit/veggie drinks. This morning I decided to make Shandi a fruit slushie for breakfast. So, we put all the ingredients in the canister, turned it on, the red light blinked. We took it off the base, reattached it, same scene, we poured the stuff out of the canister, reassembled it, same scene. Finally I had Shandi hand me the drink maker of her Aunt Brenda’s and I poured the stuff in it, which immediately poured back out on the counter because I had left the lever open. I grabbed a spatula, raked the stuff back into the canister, processed it and finally the child got to drink her breakfast.

In the meantime I called the company. I told the lady what all I had done and checked and told her I had even prayed to the Ninja god but this thing refused to work. She laughed and assured me she WAS the ninja god…and proceeded to ask a couple of question.

Yep…

See those 2 arrows, they must line up on the lid and the handle for the thing to work. *Slaps forehead and laughs*
That problem is solved. Thank you Ninja god!!! or goddess since she was a woman!
So, wash dishes, and on to water the nursery. I had watered everything yesterday, so today is a light watering day…don’t have to do the fern house, don’t have to the few things left in #2…I am watered the east side of #3 and notice in the tobasco plant that is growing between the cement edging of the house a bird nest…

There are no eggs in it, so I figure they have already hatched. I suppose mama bird thought no one would brave the heat of the tobasco peppers to mess with her babies.

Arrows and Nests

Father’s Day weekend, while on the coast, we bought a Ninja processor/blender. It was probably Tuesday or Wednesday of the following week before I got it out of the box. I got the book, checked to make sure all the parts were there, struggled forever to pull the lids off the two canisters with no luck. Finally I came to the web, googled it, discovered that they are often hard to dislodge upon first unpacking; so I went back and tugged with all my might and yep, the lids came off. I washed them, figured out what went with what, put it away and went on about my day.

When I was in WM Saturday, I bought a bunch of stuff to make smoothies and fruit/veggie drinks. This morning I decided to make Shandi a fruit slushie for breakfast. So, we put all the ingredients in the canister, turned it on, the red light blinked. We took it off the base, reattached it, same scene, we poured the stuff out of the canister, reassembled it, same scene. Finally I had Shandi hand me the drink maker of her Aunt Brenda’s and I poured the stuff in it, which immediately poured back out on the counter because I had left the lever open. I grabbed a spatula, raked the stuff back into the canister, processed it and finally the child got to drink her breakfast.

In the meantime I called the company. I told the lady what all I had done and checked and told her I had even prayed to the Ninja god but this thing refused to work. She laughed and assured me she WAS the ninja god…and proceeded to ask a couple of question.

Yep…

See those 2 arrows, they must line up on the lid and the handle for the thing to work. *Slaps forehead and laughs*
That problem is solved. Thank you Ninja god!!! or goddess since she was a woman!
So, wash dishes, and on to water the nursery. I had watered everything yesterday, so today is a light watering day…don’t have to do the fern house, don’t have to the few things left in #2…I am watered the east side of #3 and notice in the tobasco plant that is growing between the cement edging of the house a bird nest…

There are no eggs in it, so I figure they have already hatched. I suppose mama bird thought no one would brave the heat of the tobasco peppers to mess with her babies.

Arrows and nests

Father’s Day weekend, while on the coast, we bought a Ninja processor/blender. It was probably Tuesday or Wednesday of the following week before I got it out of the box. I got the book, checked to make sure all the parts were there, struggled forever to pull the lids off the two canisters with no luck. Finally I came to the web, googled it, discovered that they are often hard to dislodge upon first unpacking; so I went back and tugged with all my might and yep, the lids came off. I washed them, figured out what went with what, put it away and went on about my day.

When I was in WM Saturday, I bought a bunch of stuff to make smoothies and fruit/veggie drinks. This morning I decided to make Shandi a fruit slushie for breakfast. So, we put all the ingredients in the canister, turned it on, the red light blinked. We took it off the base, reattached it, same scene, we poured the stuff out of the canister, reassembled it, same scene. Finally I had Shandi hand me the drink maker of her Aunt Brenda’s and I poured the stuff in it, which immediately poured back out on the counter because I had left the lever open. I grabbed a spatula, raked the stuff back into the canister, processed it and finally the child got to drink her breakfast.

In the meantime I called the company. I told the lady what all I had done and checked and told her I had even prayed to the Ninja god but this thing refused to work. She laughed and assured me she WAS the ninja god…and proceeded to ask a couple of question.

Yep…

See those 2 arrows, they must line up on the lid and the handle for the thing to work. *Slaps forehead and laughs*
That problem is solved. Thank you Ninja god!!! or goddess since she was a woman!
So, wash dishes, and on to water the nursery. I had watered everything yesterday, so today is a light watering day…don’t have to do the fern house, don’t have to the few things left in #2…I am watered the east side of #3 and notice in the tobasco plant that is growing between the cement edging of the house a bird nest…

There are no eggs in it, so I figure they have already hatched. I suppose mama bird thought no one would brave the heat of the tobasco peppers to mess with her babies.

spiritual gifts

But spiritual gifts are given only to Christians, and they are something you never had before you became a Christian.

As I studied for my DT class this coming Sunday I ran across this statement. It is a statement I have made numerous times as I’ve taught Bible classes. It is not something I have thought about as deeply as I should.

We are all born with some sort of talent–music, art, diplomacy, math, science…we all have a natural talent in some area or other.

Spiritual gifts are given to us at the moment of salvation and it is up to us to develop them, to allow God to use them through us.

I need to think more deeply on this.

Another improvement

I have been working on the area between the patio and the shed. Last year Robby added the blocks to hold back the soil he added, but nothing much was planted. Thankfully what little I did plant as permanent plantings remained. This year I’m slowly adding stuff that will spread and remain low growing and come back.
It’s looking pretty nice so far.

Cleaning Up

Last year discovered that one of my eleagnus bushes had grown up into the light line running from the power pole to the house. I knew we had to do something about it, but having these breathing issues, working at the nursery and Terry working for the county, I couldn’t figure out when or how we would do it.

A buddy of ours was down on his luck and I offered to pay him to prune it back. He had done some other pruning for me and did a good job so I naturally assumed he would do a good job here.

Well, after a few days of working on half-heartedly, he got permission from Terry to use his chain saw and immediately bent the bar. So he proceeds to simply cut the height away from the tree/bush at about head high and suggested we tie a rope to it and pull all the cut limbs away with the tractor.

This would have worked fine except there is a light pole which part of the limbs had wrapped around, and a pecan tree which had a lot of the bush tangled up in a limb. Pulling all that away was a no-go. So little by little we worked on, sometimes going months without doing a thing until this spring. I decided it this yard would ever look half way decent I had to get started on it and keep my help (Terry) motivated. When we made it around to the back yard there was that eleagnus with all this dead stuff on top of it awaiting us…

So we began to work on it and for several weeks we have worked, cutting, pulling, cutting some more. Then yesterday when Terry came in, he got a rope, tied it to the mess, tied that to the tractor and *shock**gasp* he was able to pull it away. I guess we had cleared away enough to free up the majority of it, making quick work of what was appearing to be another year long project.
But now it looks so nice…even though there are still some dead branches to remove and it’s match to prune down to manageable size…it’s looking so much better.