stumbling blocks

Today’s reading in ODAT starts off: Somebody once said: "the only difference between stumbling blocks and stepping stones is how you use them."

How often do we allow little things or big things that come into our life to be stumbling blocks to our recovery rather than using them as stepping stones to become healthier people?

Even what appears to be good can be a stumbling block.
Case in point: I received a note this morning from a departing member. Her reason for leaving was that her spouse had been sober for a while and reading the shares reminded her of past problems. She no longer needed the benefits of the group nor wanted to be reminded of hard times.

My al-anon program teaches me that part of working MY program is to pass it on…Step 12 says: Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps we tried to carry the message to others and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

When people come into the program and use it as a band-aid fix, then leave when things seem better they are missing the whole beauty of the program.
This program is for US, ME, YOU…any individual who has been affected negatively by addiction. No we didn’t cause it, can’t control it or cure it–but I guarantee you that we contribute to the insanity that is our life.

I know I did. I grew up in a very dsyfunctional home. As a buddy of mine says: we put the dsy in functional. I had some screwed up thinking, screwed up reactions, and a very bad attitude. I have come so far from who I was that night in April back in ’88 that some days I barely recognize myself, but I am a much better person for my time actively working this program of recovery; learning to make stepping stones out of stumbling blocks and always looking for the ways in which I can grow, change and become healthier.

Have a great recovery day,

Another can of worms

There is a saying around these parts when bringing up a subject from the past or a difficult topic that one is opening a can of worms. Tonight, an old can of worms was opened.
The person in question kept saying, "I don’t want to open a can of worms, but…" as she dredged up the past.

Before VBS (Vacation Bible School) this person had volunteered to teach a class of kids. She was turned down. She was turned down because 1st another lady had asked for the class and 2nd because she is bi-polar and has other disorders and often is a bit off her meds and will throw hissy fits, in public. Sadly, once she realized she wasn’t going to teach the class, she picked a Wednesday night following prayer meeting and threw one of those fits…she wanted to know why she was turned down, she ranted about how no one is perfect, she went on about how the church is dying and it’s because a few want to run the church.

Tonight in our Discipleship Training class the subject was on the Giver of Gifts, referring to the spiritual gifts God the Holy Spirit gives each of us when we are saved. She came…she came last Sunday night, the first time since before VBS. I believe she looked at the DT book and saw the topic and said to herself she would come and be there when that topic was discussed. *sigh*

And she was and she did. She brought up the same thing as before, several of us tried to reason with her, one member stood up and prayed, the preacher (interim) talked with her, his wife talked with her…she kept on going for a while. One lady got up and left. Finally, as the teacher, I just spoke over her and continued on with my lesson. She hushed and we were able to have to rest of the class uninterrupted.

We have another meeting with another prospect next Thursday night. We liked the one we met with last week, but want to interview this other one and possible even another man who lives on the coast before we make a final decision. Then it will be will they feel God calling them to our church.

Roy has been at Stacie’s all week, spending time with the girls, trying to make amends to Ana and get her to come around. I believe he would re-unite with Stacie if she weren’t such a hard person to live with…so much like the church member I just described. Nothing satisfies her, flies off the handle.

We had our 4th cook out yesterday…hamburgers, hot dogs, sausage, an awesome potato salad, stuffed jalapenos, chips and salsa. Stacie, Roy and the girls were here, Brenda and James came and all in all we had a pleasant time. I’ve been really impressed with Roy of late. He may return to the same old Roy of the past, but he does seem to be trying. He says sitting in his trailer in Montana, with no money to speak of, no body to love on sure gave him a lot of thinking time. I think he came back to those who have always been there, the only family he has known other than his own who either hasn’t been there for him or are already passed on.

Life is full of surprises.