who’s the adult here

I had dreaded this all morning-S coming in prior to going to the meeting with the math teacher at the baby’s school. I didn’t want to go, I didn’t go. I didn’t feel like going for one thing. The other reason I didn’t want to go is that I hate going anywhere with Stacie because of her hateful, pissy attitude. I totally believe in speaking up for myself and the children. I totally believe in not being a door mat for anyone. However, I totally believe there is a right way and a wrong way to do it.
My daughter is a very angry person and I am so sick and tired of listening to her. My program says when I am sick and tired of being sick and tired then I will do something about the situation. God, I am in prayer today about what is the best route to take to ‘do something about’ being exposed to her hatefulness.

The moment arrived. She drove up. I knew she was ill because she wanted me to go with her so she could leave the meeting and go to the motorcycle shop to check on her bike. If the guy hadn’t started on the repairs she wanted to bring it home and do it herself. I told her yesterday I wasn’t going; I was going to stay inside and take care of ME today and try to let my medicine work on this infection. I knew she was ill because that is her MO these days.

I was not surprised. She comes in and asks if I need anything. I ask her if Roy is going. She replies that she doesn’t know and probably not as he avoids her as best he can. I inquire if she has asked him this morning.
She: No, he knew I was going. he could have said something.
Me: I think I need to throw you two in a sack and let ya’ll fight it out.
She: it isn’t he and I, I am worried about, it’s me and Ana.
Me: Why do you think she is that way?
She: Because she hates me
Me: Why
She:I don’t know
Me: Don’t you think that repeated episodes of screaming plays a part? Just a month ago you sent me a text saying I could have her.
She: That’s because she was yelling at me
Me: Well you yelled at her and told her to get the F out of your house
She: Because she was yelling at me. Besides you tell me the leave the past in the past.
Me: But repeated episodes of such as I just described leaves a child confused and hurt and determined to not be hurt by the person who is their mom.

She shows me text messages from Ana from last night…mom will you pick up Breianna, I will go with you. If not, forget it.
Then Ana text her back and says, nevermind, Brei can’t come.
Stacie text Ana…why do you hate me so much? To which Ana does not reply.

By now her phone goes off and it is a reply from Roy concerning whether he will go with her or not.

She: I am gone. I am not hanging around and wait for him to wake up. I don’t like being last minute. I don’t drive like a bat out of hell.
Me: Gee, Stacie, a few minutes won’t hurt. If you had text him earlier you wouldn’t be at this point.
She: Whatever
And she walks out the door. As she walks out I yell–yes I literally yelled as much as I am capable of yelling today–Stacie, who is the adult here? My God, will you ever grow up?

I noticed that she sat in the truck and waited for him to get up, pee, dress and get out to the truck.

Lord, was I ever that way? Am I that way now?

I think Ana realizes the control she has over her mom. I know Stacie has control issues. There is some major head butting going on here.

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