That Christmas gathering of my side of the family; only this year it was minus that good for nothing brother of mine and plus that silly boy my 17 year old niece married.
OMG!!! First of all, the daddy (bil) smokes. He must smoke one behind the other at home and he must not bathe but once a month and this wasn’t the time of the month for a bath because I almost gagged from the smoke when they first came in. Of course it’s on everyone’s clothes because everyone lives in the house and it is a tiny house.
Then later, I almost gagged because over the stinky smoke smell was the *I DON"T REMEMBER WHEN I BATHED* smell…talk about an appetite killer. Have I said, OMG???
Then we have to consider the majority of the crew are a few nuts short of full acorn tree; so we have talk of farting, stinking up the bathroom, rolling over on people and smushing them in their sleep and calling each other fat butt and whatever else crosses their mind. **sigh** and ***sigh again***
then there is sister who grins through it all. What else can she do? She works her butt off at Walmart decorating cakes and they sit around home and do nothing as far as I can see but stink up the place. *sigh*
And then there is smart Holly who has a brilliant mind, a talent for drawing and a quick wit–Holly isn’t bad to be around. She just talks 100 MPH and often with some accent that makes her very hard to understand.
I prayed hard they would hurry and leave. This began at the end of the first hour. By then the odor had penetrated the very crevices of my home, had taken up residence in my nose. After all, it was 5 PM…make that an hour an a half after arrival–they were supposed to be here at 4, they arrived at 3:30. I prayed from then until almost 6 before they finally stopped dissing each other, stuffing cheese and chocolate treats in their mouth, stinking up my toilet and otherwise making a nuisance of themselves.
I swear, when the word redneck hillbilly was invented there was a picture of these right there by it!!!
Please don’t get me wrong. I love my sister. While she has her faults–baby talking all the time, never really listening to another’s side of the story, still I look at her and wonder how we can be related. In fact I have pondered if we really are full blood relatives. And that man she married just dropped in from somewhere in the back woods.
*again I say, sigh*