As I sit here this morning I have to smile at how life certainly is never the same. There are always surprises, changes, problems, victories, losses. To me, it is what makes life–well, life.
The girls spent the weekend with their dad on the coast where he lives. The came home yesterday evening-him dragging in 2 kids that belong to the new woman he is talking to at the time. There are always some other woman’s kids hanging on, draining him, taking his attention. But I digress.
The girls informed me they wanted to go live with dad. Dad says he simply wants everyone to be on the same page with this. As a non-custodial person in the mix, I don’t legally have a say, but I told them that if that was what they wanted, I was all for it–however, when they left, Dad would be responsible for Ana’s phone bill which I now pay. I also told them that barring some legitimate disaster, they would not move down there, then a month or so later get all upset with dad and move bck. We would not start the yo-yo effect with living arrangements. Of course they agree.
Mom, however, initially did not. Her first thoughts were no child support, therefore she couldn’t pay her bills. Heck, she only gets child support about 5 months out of a year now. She feared she would lose her Medicaid insurance. I believe it is income based not number of children based and without child support,she has no income. She stated she would get on her bike and drive away if this happens because she would not ask her dad and I to help her. Excuse me, who helps her now?
She could clean out the little shed apartment and move in there. If she wanted internet, she’d have to either come over here or pay for it there as even a strong router won’t quite reach the shed not for good connection. The tv box could be moved out there so she would have TV and she’d have to be conservative with electric use, but otherwise she could make it especially if she found her some little job or miracle of miracles–was finally approved for disability. I’d prefer she go to work. I know she could find something even with all her problems; after all, I did.
But that is just me.
I talked with the girls this morning. I assured them I wanted what was best for them, but I reminded them of the problems that would–not might–but WOULD arise with their father. Job loss is inevitable. It’s a given with him. No job will mean no phone for them while he continues to hang onto his. No job means he gets irritable and loses his temper quickly and this, my friends, is NOT a pretty sight. They have never seen that side of him. They will be totally dependant on him for medical insurance and doctor and dental visits and he is not a very responsible person. There just are a lot of things he will not see to in a timely fashion which they have no clue about.
On the other hand–learning all these things first hand may be one of the best life lessons they can learn.
So for now, with that being said–I am truly working on Letting Go and Letting God.