wild and crazy day…ummm…several days

Saturday, maybe, odd phone calls started coming in–no Caller ID, collect, but no info. I figured Stacie had been transferred out for processing, but hadn’t stopped to check it out.
The calls continued Sunday, Monday, and today…
I stopped answering.
Last night I had WMU after working at baking bread all day and cleaning.
Today I had FM. Shandi had a hair cut scheduled and a nail appointment. She had never had a manicure and I felt she deserved one.
I’m waiting out in the car so as not to smell the chemicals when I see my little church friend who was in the wreck waddle into the salon. I get out and follow her. While I"m in there, phone rings with the No Caller ID, then it rings again with a Laurel, Ms. number. I answer and it’s Roy, looking for his truck keys. His dad has bailed him out of jail and he wants his truck. I hand the phone to Shandi, she tells him where they are, I give permission for him to get them and he rudely hangs up.

Finally we are done with nails, run my grocery and pick up a few things, Ana begins texting wanting hot dogs and the makings for s’mores and I"m not into all that, so I get what I can and rush home. Roy is still there. I sure was hoping he would be gone, but no… he’s there, thin as a rail, looks bad to be honest and talking non stop.

Now I’ve already sat in the salon with Diane’s SIL who talks non stop …I’ve already put up with this frustrating calls for days, I"m about ready to pop and now I’m listening to him go on and on.

Finally he leaves to go see about getting his phone turned on, Shandi and I head to Walmart–we didn’t make Al-anon, we were both too stressed to be honest and tired having been up since 5.
So now Roy is here, for the night anyway. He plans to try to get a job and prove his innocence.

When we come back, I check the Ms. Department of Corrections website and yep, Stacie has been sent to Rankin county for processing. I printed out the page with all her info on it and then it really hit me that I have a second child with a record, an inmate number, gosh it hurts even with all the alanon under my belt. Can’t change it, can’t change her, can only change me.

I had such hopes for her back in the day. They are all dashed, have been for a long time. I just didn’t want to say it out loud.

Time will tell.
I’m tired. Heading to bed.
l,k

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car-washes

Since I bought my new car back in May, I’ve tried to keep it clean and neat. Shandi and I washed it one day, but I figured out right quick that washing a car in the heat is not what I need to be doing.
I thought about running it through a car wash, but just never seemed to have the time.
Tuesday, on my way to FM I was thinking about calling over to the tire store which is just just down the street and across the road from the market..there is a guy there that washes cars for about 20 bucks a pop. He will detail it for 40.00
But I got busy and didn’t think a thing of it.
However, Phillip, the honey man left to take his wife’s car over for a detail job and came back complaining that no one was there yet. it wasn’t quite 7:00 at the time. Later, I saw Philip on the phone, but didn’t think anything of it and also saw a guy who comes in the cleaners talking to Phillip, but still I didn’t put 2 and 2 together. I didn’t have a clue what Lil Jay-Jeff (there is a story to his name) did for a living, I just knew he came in the cleaners from time to time.

An hour or so later, Phillip says–hey, Klara, your car is over at the tire store being washed. The guy took yours instead of mine. How he could mistake a Honda for a Lexus is a mystery to me.

I jumped up and ran to the side door and looked over at the tire store and yep, that was MY Honda under the shed being washed.

Hmmm, I say to Phillip, well I wanted it washed but not detailed, so he takes off to tell him to just wash it–but Lil Jeff detailed it too, and Phillip paid for it. I wasn’t gonna, since I didn’t tell him to wash it–I would have paid for a washing, but not for detailing. I’m perfectly capable of doing that.

Now, on Lil Jay-Jeff’s name…the lady who works the other half of the week has his name in the computer as Lil Jeff. First time he came in and told me Lil Jay, I couldn’t find his clothes. I told him there was a Lil Jeff, but no Lil Jay. He grins and says, I think the other lady put my name in wrong. So I bring the clothes out and compare phone numbers and he looks and says, yes, ma’am those are my clothes…so now we have Lil Jay-Jeff!!!!!

penguins-online Latest on Stacie

Oh klara how awful for you all!! So difficult!

Joy via iPhone

On Aug 23, 2017, at 7:01 PM, elf here.is.elf [penguins-online] <penguins-online> wrote:

Thursday she went before a judge and was released with a future court date of August 29.
Her dad went and picked her up, we both told her she needed to be cleaning the house and packing because she was gonna have to leave. We were through supporting her.
Several years ago, we had drawn up a property paper giving her a life time estate–we did it so she could file homestead exemption and taxed would be lower.
We had another paper drawn up last week, putting everything back in our name for the time being.
On Monday I went to the doc, having come down with a cold/sinus/chest congestion thing…when I got home I text her and told her I’d be done with bread around noon and we would go to town so I could pick up my meds…I’d seen the doc at 7:30 and the druggist doesn’t open until 8:30. I told her we would also get the papers signed and then go on and see her parole officer-which she had to do.
She did question the signing of the papers; I told her it was to put everything back in our name and she had to sign because her name was on it…then we went to the parole office.
I didn’t go in with her, but later I was sent after. He asked if I was really kicking her out and why-I told him because she wouldn’t work, she disappeared at least once a month and wouldn’t tell anyone where she was, she had hurt her children the last time and had wasted their money her last time.
He said, well you know I’m keeping her. He talked straight to her–about no job and her attitude. He told her that if she didn’t have a job by now she might need to figure out why people wouldn’t hire her.
Short story, she will see a judge most likely the 28th, or at least be at court. She may go before the judge and she may not–we who have been there know how these things go. It will depend on the judge.
She had it made, folks. If she would have stayed clean, paid her fine and made her monthly visits, once her fine was paid her record would be clean…and she had a felony drug possession charge against her…a charge that would be whiped clean if she did what she was supposed to do. But she didn’t.
We plan to try and find her a cheap car, so when she is released she will have a way to go…she can put what will fit into it and ride off into the sunset. It won’t be easy but she has made her choices. We, as parents have been good to her, too good to her for all these years.
Stacie is 42, with a college degree–she used to have a good personality, but through the years she has become this angry, bitter person, blaming everyone and everything for what is wrong with her. We can’t help her any more. All we can do is pray for her.
I’ve really been burdened because I was so afraid that Terry would change his mind, or I would change mine. But we can’t afford to do that–the children need protecting even though we should have done more years ago…maybe it isn’t too late to show them that we don’t put up with wrong treatment and actions.

Latest on Stacie

Thursday she went before a judge and was released with a future court date of August 29.
Her dad went and picked her up, we both told her she needed to be cleaning the house and packing because she was gonna have to leave. We were through supporting her.
Several years ago, we had drawn up a property paper giving her a life time estate–we did it so she could file homestead exemption and taxed would be lower.
We had another paper drawn up last week, putting everything back in our name for the time being.
On Monday I went to the doc, having come down with a cold/sinus/chest congestion thing…when I got home I text her and told her I’d be done with bread around noon and we would go to town so I could pick up my meds…I’d seen the doc at 7:30 and the druggist doesn’t open until 8:30. I told her we would also get the papers signed and then go on and see her parole officer-which she had to do.
She did question the signing of the papers; I told her it was to put everything back in our name and she had to sign because her name was on it…then we went to the parole office.
I didn’t go in with her, but later I was sent after. He asked if I was really kicking her out and why-I told him because she wouldn’t work, she disappeared at least once a month and wouldn’t tell anyone where she was, she had hurt her children the last time and had wasted their money her last time.
He said, well you know I’m keeping her. He talked straight to her–about no job and her attitude. He told her that if she didn’t have a job by now she might need to figure out why people wouldn’t hire her.
Short story, she will see a judge most likely the 28th, or at least be at court. She may go before the judge and she may not–we who have been there know how these things go. It will depend on the judge.
She had it made, folks. If she would have stayed clean, paid her fine and made her monthly visits, once her fine was paid her record would be clean…and she had a felony drug possession charge against her…a charge that would be whiped clean if she did what she was supposed to do. But she didn’t.
We plan to try and find her a cheap car, so when she is released she will have a way to go…she can put what will fit into it and ride off into the sunset. It won’t be easy but she has made her choices. We, as parents have been good to her, too good to her for all these years.
Stacie is 42, with a college degree–she used to have a good personality, but through the years she has become this angry, bitter person, blaming everyone and everything for what is wrong with her. We can’t help her any more. All we can do is pray for her.
I’ve really been burdened because I was so afraid that Terry would change his mind, or I would change mine. But we can’t afford to do that–the children need protecting even though we should have done more years ago…maybe it isn’t too late to show them that we don’t put up with wrong treatment and actions.

Anniversary

8/14/17

What a way to spend one’s anniversary—visiting a wayward daughter in jail and dealing with a grand’s anxiety attacks and change of direction in her career—from nursing to cosmetology (which has always been her first love)

Took Shandi to visit Stacie and so she could ask Stacie those importing questions burning holes in my mind—why did you lie to me, how can a mother do these things over and over to her child. No satisfactory answer was given, but Shandi felt good asking them; she also didn’t let her anger control her.

We were told that Bruce had held her hostage which is why she didn’t come back home; reminded me of when DHS took the girls and Stacie and I met the next day for a judge hearing and drug test—Stacie popped positive and said that Gary made her use.

We did get the EBT card, so were able to buy Shandi some groceries.

I meet with the lawyer Wednesday on the lifetime estate thing we drew up with Stacie having a lifetime estate—done so Stacie could file homestead and taxes would be lower. UGH.

Shandi’s SSI caseworker called yesterday. She had called several times but was calling the wrong number—probably either Stacie’s old phone or Shandi’s-anyway she was so shocked at what Shandi was having to endure, yet again.

Now that Roy knows Stacie is in jail, he is upping his desire to be bailed out so he can come help with Shandi. He does not comprehend that until she turns 18 or the charges are dropped, he can’t be in contact with her.

And life goes on…….

Stacie, jail and consequences

Well it’s been a horrid week, beginning last Tuesday. Shandi’s Disability dropped on the debit card set up for it—730 and change. Stacie and Shandi went to town, Stacie bought herself a new phone, brought Shandi home and told her she was going to a friend’s for the night to get rid of the stress.

I got some odd messages from an ex-girlfriend of Stacie’s on Thursday which led me to believe she was with Bruce H, and they were probably doing drugs so I text Stacie.

Friday morning I got up to this email…

Stacie Reid
Aug 4 (3 days ago)
to me

I know that you have no reason to believe me but I’m sorry about everything. I know that I’m a fucking disappointment to you.

I want to make it right. Will you let me do that. I would like to come home and do that. I would like for Bruce’s stuff to be able to stay there. He doesn’t have a home. I’m going to come finish cleaning. I want some of my stuff to remain untouched. I want to be able to have some stuff. You raised your kids. Utter failure with Robbie. I’ll give you me. You didn’t fuck up, I did. But man oh man what a mess you made with Ana. You really wanted a win. So to start with every time I made a rule you would make sure and counterman it giving her exactly what she wanted. She may have graduated but barely.

I hung up on you because you were treating me like a 12 year old. I’m not so stop. Let me do what you couldn’t.

Recent events have caused me do a lot of thinking. I have held my happiness incarcerated for the happiness of others. I’m not going to do that anymore. It time for me to chart my life the way I see fit. Every one else has managed to control me into what they wanted me to do. I would like for it to be ok if while I’m gone Bruce is allowed out there to get Kawasaki running for me when I get out.

I don’t want to come out there only to be arrested. I’m going to jail for the rest of my probation. Can that be enough and I will forever more be label with that. I have punished myself enough over the years.

I was never good enough for y’all. I always had to be better. I’m done trying to please other people. It is way passed time for me to take care of me. And just so you know I know he not perfect and whether or not he knows it he is helping me find the real me. Who I am becoming. No I don’t know how he feels for me. I’m done there. I’m not happy there anymore. I’ve done school all the way to a bachelor’s and what has that gotten me nothing. It took cookie getting hurt for me to realize all of this.

I’m sorry I couldn’t be perfect.

I love you all

elf <here.is.elf>
Aug 4 (3 days ago)
to Stacie

My reply”

Why are you going to jail for the rest of your probation?

What about Shandi’s money? Have you spent her whole month’s check? Does she have any left to live on for the month?

what about Shandi? What will she do while you go to jail?

Bruce cannot come out here and stay with Shandi up there. That won’t happen. Her money will not pay the bills for anyone to live there but her and you .

For your information we raised Ana because this is where she chose to be because of you and Gary using drugs and the way you treated her.

Bring the truck home

Funny to me you say Robbie was an epic fail and you’ve done the same things…we were proud of you until you chose to go down the drug path, then you wouldn’t work, you’d blow money on drugs and stuff rather than fixing up the house we gave you. Years ago you told me the reason you used drugs the first time was because you had to prove to me that you weren’t perfect. That was cutting off your nose to spite your face.

You need to come home and explain yourself–your daughter is sitting up there with nothing to eat trying to take care of your dog.

Her reply

Stacie Reid
Aug 4 (3 days ago)
to me

I didn’t mean to live there you really should reread that I said to work on the Kawasaki. You are still trying to control me. I was really so controlled by y’all. I honestly believed that I couldn’t go a day without talking to you. All I ever needed was to get away

Klara Reid <here.is.elf>
Aug 4 (3 days ago)
to Stacie

Mine back to her:

You don’t want to be controlled by us? Come home, leave all info about Shandi and a letter stating you give me right to make decisions for her, pack your shit and go. You still haven’t Answered me. Does Shandi have any money to live on rest of month. Why are you going to spend probation time in jail?

If you would pay your own way rather than living off your younguns I’d never say a word.

You can’t spend her money like you did child support. You got by with that but this is her disability money and she needs it.

Sleeves

7/27/17

Couple of weeks ago a guy came in with a brand new shirt. He needed the sleeves shortened to same length as the white shirt (which needed laundering also). I began the computer info and realized that 9.55 + tax just didn’t seem right to remove cuffs, shorten sleeves and replace cuffs. This guy always wears long sleeve. Period.

I call the seamstress and ask her about pricing—I say, “ 9.55 doesn’t seem enough to remove cuffs, shorten sleeves to length of sample shirt, then re-attach cuffs.” She tells me to go with that price and if there is a price increase she will adjust it.

I wrote in the notes on the ticket that sleeves needed to be shortened to length of sample shirt which was a long sleeve.

Saturday the guy comes in to pick up his shirts and when I scan them I realize they have made SHORT sleeves of his shirts, BOTH of them.

He must have this shirt by August 4th. He needs it to wear with a group of men for something. I didn’t ask what.

I guess from now on I need to type—remove cuff, shorten sleeve, replace cuff.

I know I do. Today the seamstress called concerning a coat my sidekick sent in to tighten up the buttons. We only have certain ‘codes’ for pricing. We don’t have a tighten button code, we have a replace button code. That is the code and pricing my sidekick used. The seamstress called to ask what did she need to do to the jacket? It said replace button but there were no missing buttons-I looked at the ticket and asked if there were loose buttons at which she said there were. I told her to tighten up the loose buttons. Geez!!!!!!

I love my job!!!!!