Well it’s been a horrid week, beginning last Tuesday. Shandi’s Disability dropped on the debit card set up for it—730 and change. Stacie and Shandi went to town, Stacie bought herself a new phone, brought Shandi home and told her she was going to a friend’s for the night to get rid of the stress.
I got some odd messages from an ex-girlfriend of Stacie’s on Thursday which led me to believe she was with Bruce H, and they were probably doing drugs so I text Stacie.
Friday morning I got up to this email…
I know that you have no reason to believe me but I’m sorry about everything. I know that I’m a fucking disappointment to you.
I want to make it right. Will you let me do that. I would like to come home and do that. I would like for Bruce’s stuff to be able to stay there. He doesn’t have a home. I’m going to come finish cleaning. I want some of my stuff to remain untouched. I want to be able to have some stuff. You raised your kids. Utter failure with Robbie. I’ll give you me. You didn’t fuck up, I did. But man oh man what a mess you made with Ana. You really wanted a win. So to start with every time I made a rule you would make sure and counterman it giving her exactly what she wanted. She may have graduated but barely.
I hung up on you because you were treating me like a 12 year old. I’m not so stop. Let me do what you couldn’t.
Recent events have caused me do a lot of thinking. I have held my happiness incarcerated for the happiness of others. I’m not going to do that anymore. It time for me to chart my life the way I see fit. Every one else has managed to control me into what they wanted me to do. I would like for it to be ok if while I’m gone Bruce is allowed out there to get Kawasaki running for me when I get out.
I don’t want to come out there only to be arrested. I’m going to jail for the rest of my probation. Can that be enough and I will forever more be label with that. I have punished myself enough over the years.
I was never good enough for y’all. I always had to be better. I’m done trying to please other people. It is way passed time for me to take care of me. And just so you know I know he not perfect and whether or not he knows it he is helping me find the real me. Who I am becoming. No I don’t know how he feels for me. I’m done there. I’m not happy there anymore. I’ve done school all the way to a bachelor’s and what has that gotten me nothing. It took cookie getting hurt for me to realize all of this.
I’m sorry I couldn’t be perfect.
I love you all
Why are you going to jail for the rest of your probation?
What about Shandi’s money? Have you spent her whole month’s check? Does she have any left to live on for the month?
what about Shandi? What will she do while you go to jail?
Bruce cannot come out here and stay with Shandi up there. That won’t happen. Her money will not pay the bills for anyone to live there but her and you .
For your information we raised Ana because this is where she chose to be because of you and Gary using drugs and the way you treated her.
Bring the truck home
Funny to me you say Robbie was an epic fail and you’ve done the same things…we were proud of you until you chose to go down the drug path, then you wouldn’t work, you’d blow money on drugs and stuff rather than fixing up the house we gave you. Years ago you told me the reason you used drugs the first time was because you had to prove to me that you weren’t perfect. That was cutting off your nose to spite your face.
You need to come home and explain yourself–your daughter is sitting up there with nothing to eat trying to take care of your dog.
I didn’t mean to live there you really should reread that I said to work on the Kawasaki. You are still trying to control me. I was really so controlled by y’all. I honestly believed that I couldn’t go a day without talking to you. All I ever needed was to get away
Mine back to her:
You don’t want to be controlled by us? Come home, leave all info about Shandi and a letter stating you give me right to make decisions for her, pack your shit and go. You still haven’t Answered me. Does Shandi have any money to live on rest of month. Why are you going to spend probation time in jail?
If you would pay your own way rather than living off your younguns I’d never say a word.
You can’t spend her money like you did child support. You got by with that but this is her disability money and she needs it.