Our pastor and his family are gone. Those who wanted him gone are happy as larks. Those who didn’t are moving forward with a better understanding of what church people are capable of doing.
I often wonder if I’m a hypocrite or if I’m doing what God would have me do by staying. I don’t hate those who had aught against the pastor. I can’t find it in my heart to truly hate anyone. I want the best for them. I want God’s love and blessings in their life. I am aware of who and what most of the people are: I accept them as who they are. I don’t put my trust in people. My trust is in the Lord.
I feel that one-possibly more–are out to get me. Too many factors/comments/questions point in that direction. The Bible says that no weapon formed against me shall prosper. I claim that. So, just as with my pastor and his family, should ‘they’ whom ever ‘they’ are succeed in removing me from the physical church I attend; they will never remove me from the Lamb’s Book of Life. They will never dampen my spirit. I will continue to serve my God where ever I may be planted.
The secretary is told to be sue and check the bank statements to be sure no checks were made to cash. A bag of Fritos was taken; a bag intended to feed the people who bought chilli plates Sunday. The statement was made: It was JUST a bag of chips. A bag of chips the church paid for, a bag of chips intended for a Sunday fund raiser meal, a bag of chips which caused us to run out sooner than we would have. But it’s just a bag of chips.
Maybe a ugly reaction was expected. Nope. Wasn’t one. I was curious about where it went. More so since there were 2 dollars in a bowl in the kitchen-the amount of the bag of chips. No, that was for yard sale stuff.
I can’t help what others think or do or say. That is between them and God. I am only responsible for me. I have a hard enough keeping me where I need to be with God. I’m working hard on only saying what I would be able to say face to face with the person I am speaking about. I don’t always accomplish this; but I work on it.
Small town tragedies
Less than a week ago a tornado hit the outskirts of our neighboring town wrecking havoc. Lives lost, homes destroyed, business torn apart. Driving through there on Thursday as we went to the coast brought back visions of the coast following Katrina. Tin tossed into what remained of tree tops, notices on Facebook of pictures found on the other side of town, photos of the young girl who lost her life, leaving behind a young son and a grieving husband. These are images one shouldn’t have to see around the holidays, especially Christmas–that time of year we celebrate the birth of our Saviour, that time of year of giving and putting others first.
Then last night the prayer chain request came through-a young life had been snuffed out. Age 15, the son of a mother who had lost her life just a few years back in a fatal car accident. This young boy was visiting a friend, they were looking at a pistol when it went off taking Devin’s life. So young, yet gone. I think of his grandparents who were raising him, his twin brother and older sister. There was an older brother but I believe he was grown already. Grandparents who had already laid to rest their only daughter.
My own granddaughters grief stricken, trying to make sense of it all. We stood tonight in the circle of people gather at our local school for a vigil in honor of Devin. I heard the prayers for peace, for understanding, for comfort. I wondered where would that come from for these young people who are struggling with accepting the loss of a friend along with their own identities and purpose in life. I listened as young men, 15 or so years old, stepped forward and expressed their loss, their love for this young man gone from us and offered up their thoughts on why and how God allowed this to happen. I heard the grief take over as one young man broke down and cried–yes under the cloak of darkness but exposed yet by his voice and still not concerned about what others thought. Awesome! Being able to express their thoughts and grief during such a time will go far in helping them heal.
May God be with them all. May God be with us all.
I sit here tonight just pondering on the latest developments in this roller coaster I call life. The girls are wanting to go live with daddy part time and my son in Louisana the other part–I love my son but there is so much chaos, drinking, disorder, confusion and God only knows what else that I simply am not comfortable with them staying there for more than a day or two. The girls think their dad will set homeschooling up for them, and they can do school when they darn well please, they can do school and live with dad when he is home from work and they can go my son’s and do school there when dad goes back offshore and it simply isn’t going to work that way..so…
I’ve prayed and asked God to handle this situation-work things out so that the girls can’t go to my son’s either because their father won’t allow them to, or they decide they don’t want to or my son doesn’t have time or space for them.
So today I get a phone call from son’s step-son. Seems my son is in jail, aggravated assault and illegal possession of a firearm. When the law was called to break up the fight son was involved in at his home and the law walked into their home, propped up by the door was a gun–son is a felon so cannot be around guns and there goes that charge against him.
God sure has a way of answering prayers. With son in jail there is no way my girls are going there either from my house nor their dads. I simply do not seeing daddy agreeing to them going there without my son there.
It’s funny, but it isn’t funny. I hate son is in jail. He’s been out of jail now for about 5 years and lets himself get into a fight and off he goes. Of course I have been knowing that the time was nearing near. Son has never been good at freedom for more than 5 years and more often it has been 3 years then he blows a gasket and does something that lands him in jail. He had been doing so well, working, fixing up the house his woman owns, just really a likeable person when he wasn’t drunk…but now who knows when he will get out if he does.
I think about that; the pain of knowing a child is in jail, the fear of knowing the other adult child might end up there within the next few months and the fear of not having the girls here and I have to say that such things as *I wasn’t given the right information* simply fade into the background and people who become so focused on such petty things should stop and count their many blessings.