Let Go

This was posted in a group this evening. I read it and realized how applicable it was to any situation where there is a break in the relationship. It may be your spouse, your son or daughter, a grandchild, mother, father, sister, brother—or it may simply be a fractured friendship; whatever the situation you are struggling with—God is saying, Let Go and Let Me take care of the person, the situation, you. It really spoke to me in several areas of my life, both past and present.

A letter from God

You want to hear from Me about letting your son go. You are not abandoning him, as much as it may feel like it. You are simply transferring his wellbeing from your care to Mine.

It was never My intention for you to direct, guide, and control his life. That is My role. Yours in the beginning was to love him, protect him, and teach him. You’ve done that. He was never yours to keep.

To have peace, you must let him go. Your stubborn self-will only gets in the way of the plans I have for him.

I know it is not your intention to interfere, but you are. You arenot all-wise and all-powerful. You cannot remove his disease. You cannot love him to wellness. Only I can do that.

You must trust that I care for your son’s wellbeing. You must trust that I love him more than your humanly love. My thoughts, My ways, My plans are bigger than you can comprehend. Your lives are so short, yet you waste so much in worry and fear.

Yes, your son may cut his life short. That is not My intention, but it is his choice. He must trust Me also, and seek to have a relationship with Me. Only then can I work in his life. I will not force Myself on him or you. I am more than willing to be involved in your lives, but only to the degree you let Me. We both know what a struggle trusting Me has been for you.

You can’t make it any easier for your son to trust Me. He has to find Me on his own, and he’s doing that to the best of his ability. Let him do that. Get out of the way. Love him as My child, the way I love you. But let him go so that he can be himself, whoever that may be.

We’re in this together. You can come to Me anytime to tell Me your worries and concerns. I’ll listen. I always have. But I may choose to be silent. That’s My way of stretching you and growing you.

I know you love your son, and I love you for that. But ultimately, he is My child, and I know what’s best for him. Entrust him to Me and you will grow. You will find the peace you want. You have so much in your own life to focus on. Focus on growing yourself, and let Me worry about your son.

I have learned

I have learned to make every effort no to over-react to actions or statements made by others.
I have learned that I’m not responsible for the choices other people make, even though they want to blame me.

I have learned that what others think of me is absolutely none of my business. I can’t control their thoughts or actions.

I have learned to let go of the things I have done in the past as well as the things others have done—whether to me or simply to themselves.

I have learned to do the best I can to keep my focus on me and my relationship with God and not on others and their relationship with God.

I have learned that while ‘I have learned’ these things, I sometimes stumble and fall.

But I have also learned that with God all things are possible.

Thank you, God.

Job Opening

February 19, 2017
Our church secretary resigned; or as far as I know secretary is all she resigned from.
It’s been coming. She’s been sick for a while. Her job duties have suffered. Her family wanted her to resign. She gave up the kitchen back last October/November.
*sigh* She’s been both easy and hard to work with—easy because she knows what she’s doing; hard because I never knew what I may say that would upset her.
I’ve examined my heart, my actions, even my attitudes. No, none have always been pure as the driven snow-but always an underlying desire to be kind has driven my actions. Have I griped from time to time when my bills and receipts were not forthcoming? Yes. I can’t do my job without the very things that make up my job.
But, I never could fuss at her about it. I knew she wasn’t well, and especially this past 9 months.
I’ve been accused of wanting her job and not speaking up for her. I pray if this is true, God will show me where and how. I can’t change the facts; I can do better in the future. We all grow and learn; regardless of how old we are. Help me continue to grow and learn.

Working woes

Last week at work, a fellow brought some clothes in to be dry cleaned—a couple of suits along with the fancy shirts to go with them. The collars were so very dirty, I wondered if the man ever, ever took a bath. Jeez!!!!!
Another one came with a rush job….brought it in on Thursday and had to have it back for Sunday, which meant it would be back in the store on Friday and he would need to pick it up on Saturday, if not late Friday afternoon, and he would need to be there before 12—closing time—on Saturday.
At around 10ish he or his woman called to verify the clothes were in-yes they were. At 10 till 12 they call, we are on our way. Excuse me!!!!! I waited and lo and behold if he didn’t try to keep me until way after 12. Ugh. People. If it were so rushed then why wasn’t he there on Friday to pick those clothes up.
Another thing brewing in my world is a lack of being able to do my church job properly. In order to pay the bills, I have to have them in a timely fashion. In order to reimburse people who have tied up their money-I need the receipts ASAP. It isn’t happening. Just not quite sure why the person responsible for getting all that to me is having problems doing so. Memory or lack there-of plays a huge part in the problem. Maybe there is more going on than I’m aware of. I know the Constitution and By-laws state that I’m to pay the bills handed to me by department heads—but when department heads OR even acting department heads hands me a receipt directly-then they are corrected. **sigh**
I’m getting too old for this stuff. I need every penny I make. I’m trying to help get a granddaughter out of high school and then through college. But my health is not what it used to be and I’d love to simply be able to do my job on time, in an orderly fashion, without having to run to the office mid week to write a check when I should be helping with other things, or be delayed on Sunday mornings writing checks when I need to be doing my Assistant Sunday School Director job. Again;…..**sigh**
Lord it is in your hands. Take care of it, please.

the Love month

February that is–of course all months, all days should be months, days and years of love. Sadly, this isn’t always the case. I won’t even attempt to begin to verbalize what I feel at the moment given the shape of our world-and the people in it. It isn’t just in the ‘big cities’ or Washington or politics–it’s everywhere!

On a brighter note, the little part time job is going well. I learn a bit more each week. I’m working out the details of the rest of my treatment-I think. That could change tomorrow…but for now I will pay the less that 8.00 a week for the supplies I will need, and the 3.30 co-pay for med. I don’t like that they billed me for the co-pay when I gave them a credit card to use–I will inquire about that when they call on Monday.

I’ve thought a lot about Ana these days. She qualifies for a full Pell Grant. She plans to go to school to be a nurse. I pray she will hang in there and study and pass. At the moment I don’t have a lot of faith in that.

She is going to stop teaching Black Light. Truth is, I can’t blame her for that one. The kids don’t listen and the pastor’s wife, who is the disiplinarian for the group has ADD and will ask the same question 10 times, all the time Ana is answering and she will bang her finger on the table and ask the question another 10 times. She questions everything Ana does, has to check out every song Ana wants to do and when Ana tries to do a song she wants done, she even questions that. *sigh* I’ve tried to get Ana to talk with her and the preacher, but she says it won’t do any good, and it might not. It is her life and she needs to make decisions, right or wrong and suffer the consequences of those choices.

I go Monday to be trained in giving myself my allergy shots. That will be a full day. Then , ran into my sister in Walmart this evening and she asked me to take her to Jackson Tuesday to the endocrinologist. Ugh–trouble is, she wants to get to my house at 7:30 to leave (after they drop the youngest daughter off at school) and it’s an hour and a half to get to where she is going with no traffic problems…or I think it is. I told her I’d just pick her up if I had to take her and her hubby could take the kid to school. I do not want to deal with him all day too. Ugh again…

It is going to be May and I won’t have any jellies made or new EO blends done with all these trips here and yonder. Ugh even again. 😀

Oh well, tomorrow will be a brighter day, I hope.

An Ana Day

Today, January 26, 2017, Ana had an appointment with the oral surgeon in Hattiesburg to see about removing 4 wisdom teeth. They, at least a couple of them are giving her significant problems. We decided to take a full day–we left early, and our first stop besides gas, was to the ENT for my allergy test–that shot under the skin to determine if you are allergic to the allergy shot. I think that is so ironic. I understand it…but it’s funny to me.

Then to Hobby Lobby–BTW–I passed the allergic reaction test. Thank you Lord, then we cruised the Shoe Station looking at shoes. Ana has to have a nude or white (she wants nude) pair of heels with enclosed toe for graduation. She will also need a pair of fancy black for prom. Then the mall where we replaced her Black Cherry soap from Bath and Body works, cause maw threw hers away. Shame on Me!!!

Then into a few more stores before hitting Hooters for lunch, after that we went to Best Buy.
I simply wanted cheap speakers and wire to run from my tv to the head of the bed so Terry and I could hear the TV. We are both getting deaf. BB only sells high end, quality stuff. Their customers want the best so cheap is NOT what they have.

Ok, so excuse me!!! We left and went and looked at PetCo, where we got Blaise a name tag, then on the other pet store for Ana to drool over the snakes..ugh…no…uhg…….into the Kitchen Store right by it that are so proud of their stuff I can’t afford it….then on to her Oral Surgeon. We were 30 minutes or more late being called back there, but the wait time to see the doc was blissfully short. Out of Hattiesburg and by Wally World in Columbia where we ran into some church friends, picked up what we needed and home.

I had Stacie pick me up a few groceries while she was in town this morning, since she had the EBT card and since I feed HER child, I deserve it. I told her I needed a bag of Quick Quaker Grits like I cook for breakfast…that child was raised here with me buying Quaker quick grits in the 5 lb bag. She brings home a box of instant. Ugh…oh well.

All in all, Ana and I decided we really enjoyed our day and we look forward to going back in Febuary on their Tuesday holiday–she thinks it’s President day and they are supposed to have MOnday and Tuesday off but Monday is a make up day so it will only be Tuesday. We plan to go back and look for prom dresses.

Yes, a good day.

Pepper

My poor little Pepper was attacked again today. I know she is so tired of being jumped on. She is not an attack dog, she bothers no one…..at least this time the lacerations aren’t as bad, but we think she was tossed about. UGH. Ant this is just one side. She has tears on the other side too.